6/8/04

I realized today how nice it is to come home to my wife, Miriam. I played golf with some work buddies, and I ended up getting home at around 9:45. Anyway, Miriam had some stuff in the oven for me to eat, and it was just so nice to see her open the door and welcome me home.

I guess the main reason that it hit me today is that I don't always feel like this when I come home from work. Sometimes I'm tired, sometimes I need that male "unwinding" time, and sometimes I'm just downright grumpy. Coming home tonight made me want to change that about myself. I could tell it made Miriam very happy that she was appreciated right away, as opposed to me being kind of indifferent to her emotional needs for half an hour before I'm ready to talk.

On a slight tangent from that thought, I've really been into "changing" myself these days. I think it's been good - definitely something that God has been bringing about. The thing is though, I really want to get beyond just thinking about what needs to change in my life, and actually get to the changing! I've definitely been around this block before, and it's one of the most frustrating things.

So one of the big things that's been on my mind that I want to change about my life is that I want to become more passionate. So this is kind of a long story, and I don't feel like going into it in detail right now. Let's just say for brevity's sake that my family is not the most passionate set of people in the world. We're more laid back. We like comfort, safety, those types of things. That isn't to say that we are devoid of ambition - it's just that our ambitions tend to be those that kind of go unnoticed. Anyway, a great spiritual blessing that we had recently was going to Boston for my friend Paul's wedding. The spiritual part of it was getting to catch up with his brothers, who are both pastors and are really intense and passionate for the ministry that God has called them to. I felt really inspired talking with them. Miriam joked that they are the "foils" of our family, since there are three brothers on both sides. I think she's kind of right, though, so Dave Lee, if you ever read this, I consider you my foil in the best possible sense. Anyway, I love talking and interacting with people who are so visibly passionate about God and doing His work - particularly with evangelism/regeneration/missions/the spreading of God's word. Another group of people that have that same effect on me are Miriam's friends, the Hyun twins (great last name by the way). The few times that I've gotten to meet up with them, it's been really good. One of them just happened (maybe not so coincidentally) to come to Baylight on Sunday. Anyway, it's pretty amazing great how God moves like that - how spending time with people who are passionate about Him helps to increase our own passion. But at some point, it has to become our own, doesn't it? I know that one of the greatest dangers that I face in life right now is falling into spiritual complacency. I mean that's such a huge danger for all of us, isn't it? Especially in the States or in other places where Christianity seems like it's all around and accepted. Also where it's comfortable. Comfort seems to be a dangerous thing. I don't think I want to be comfortable anymore. Is that a dangerous prayer?

Anyway, the idea of passion, especially for God, has been the thing that's most been on my mind. This is a good thing. If you're reading this and you know me, can you just lift up a brief prayer that this would move out of my mind and into my life? Thanks.

Alright, peace out.