Writer's block

One of the toughest things for me to adjust to is learning that writing is work, and now that I'm trying to make it as a songwriter, work is writing. It's a tough adjustment from just an "inspired" creative process that kind of just flows out. But I'm thinking now that "inspiration" is kind of a farce - that real inspiration comes through the blood, sweat and tears of work rather than 15 minutes of glory. Not that it doesn't happen that way - there are countless anecdotes about great songs that have just come out in short periods of time. But I don't think that's the norm of the creative process, and that maybe inspiration will come during hour 4, or even 40 of working on something, as opposed to the first 15 minutes.

But it's tough work to sit and think about something for that long, to try and go down all these various little sidepaths that end up fruitless in hopes of finding that one that will lead to a grand vista that paints a picture of truth in a deep and meaningful way. I think my highest artistic ambition as a songwriter, other than bringing glory to God, is to write something that someone hears and they think to themselves "I always thought that, but this song put it into words and feeling that I never could have expressed." Rich Mullins does that to me all the time - it's almost like I find out more about myself when I listen to his music.

One song that Miriam and I love (actually I'm pretty sure lots of people love this song, that have really listened to it) is What Susan Said. In the chorus, he writes

And we both feel lost
But I remember what Susan said
How love is found in the things we've given up
More than in the things that we have kept
And ain't it funny what people say
And ain't it funny what people write
And ain't it funny how it hits you so hard
In the middle of the night
And if your home is just another place where you're a stranger
And far away is just somewhere you've never been
I hope that you'll remember, I was your friend

I first heard that song when I was in high school - it was so poetic and so earnest, that I was moved. But really, what did I know then? How much had I really given up to know that love was bound and found there? I think I knew a little bit, but it's like what C.S. Lewis described as the Shadowlands - just a shadow of what it meant, but not in fullness. I daresay that I still don't know that line in fullness, but I know enough that it's more true for me today than it was 14 years ago - that there have been things given up that still hold love, that we all change but sometimes we just long to find the person that we used to be. Is that too melodramatic? Anyway, the chorus is a pretty good summation of a particular thing I've been struggling with lately - I guess it's just funny to me how life often offers the opportunity for us to experience in real life what we thought we knew through a song.

I guess my original point being that this chorus actually helped me to realize that this was how I was feeling to some degree. I hadn't really thought about it until I was listening to it again recently. It just opened up this well of self-discovery for me. And I think that's one of the great beauties in music and songs, the way it can really hit you in such a powerful way.

Alright - I digressed way off my original path. I basically wanted to say that I'm learning how to work hard at writing and not expect things to just - *whoosh* - magically appear.